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It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. – Mark Twain
Occasionally a quote requires no further elaboration. This is one of those times. But because golf has provided a wealth of quotes worthy of remembering, I’ve managed to cobble together a few of the wittier observations about the sport.
Twain also wrote that, “Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
Comedian Buddy Hackett didn’t like golf very much, either. He said, “Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.”
Former U. S. President Gerald Ford joked, “I know I am getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.”
An excellent golfer, Hall of Fame baseball player Mickey Mantle said, “He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.”
In contrast, famed humorist Will Rogers said, “The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.”
Al Boliska asked, “Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?”
Humorous author Dave Barry wrote, “For me, the worst part about playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.”
James Patrick Murray said, “Show me a man who is a good loser, and I’ll show you a man playing golf with his boss.”
According to actor Jack Lemmon, “If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.”
Actor Dick van Dyke added, “I found out that retirement means playing golf, or I don’t know what the hell it means. To me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing.”
Former professional golfer Gary Player once said, “As we all know…golf is a puzzle without an answer.”
His contemporary Lee Trevino, also a tremendous golfer, was struck by lightning during a tournament in 1975. He later joked, “If you’re caught on the golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.”
One of the more amusing professionals on tour to interview when he played, Trevino said, “I’ve been hit by lightning and been in the Marine Corps for four years. I’ve traveled the world and been just about everywhere you can imagine. There’s not anything I’m scared of, except my wife.”
And with an “for golf insiders” joke, Trevino said this: “You can talk to a fade, but a hook won’t listen.”
Just for the record, from personal experience I’ve learned that slices don’t listen, either.
Golf legend Arnold Palmer quipped, “I have a tip that will take five strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called ‘an eraser.'”
And famed evangelist Billy Graham said this about the game: “The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.”
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