My Campaign for POTUS, Day 1

Miss this guy yet?

This writing exercise is a quasi-serious attempt to create a platform from which this country would be governed, should I get elected by some small miracle.

The beauty of Donald Trump is that he showed literally anybody is able to run for President of the United States, or POTUS. Personally, I would be happy if Trump ran and won again in 2024, but there is a lot of time between now and then, the forces marshaled against Trump still remain in positions of power, and Democrats are frantically trying to change voting rules so they would never lose another election. If elected, of course I would humbly serve, at least one full term or until someone managed to assassinate me, whichever comes first.

My campaign will be fully independent. I will not join either political party at this point in my life just on general principle, although I will concede I have far more disdain for the liberal-controlled Democratic Party than Republicans in principle.

However, there is clearly a “Deep State” uni-party where Chuck Schumer and Mitch McConnell play off each other like Abbott and Costello or Laurel and Hardy, except neither politician is really the straight man. I’ve got quite a few things on my chest related to politics but I’ve decided not put them out one at a time so I blog about something on a daily basis for a while as part of this experiment. I’ll give more details on my overall political philosophy in time, but for now I just want to communicate one simple idea with which I believe almost every American who isn’t a politician would agree:

PLATFORM PLANK #1: I vow never to sign into law (pocket veto or veto) any proposed legislation that is more than twenty-five (25) pages long, with the exception of budget bills. Also, the literal authors of the bill must put their name on the bill before I would, so I am sure I know who actually wrote the damned thing. The UniParty has gotten away with this nonsense for far too long where lobbyists write legislation, not the lawmakers, but then most of the lawmakers apparently don’t even read the bills before they vote on them. If “our” lobbyists wrote the bill vote for it, and if “theirs” did, vote against it. Isn’t that the way it works?

The word “relief” attached to this monstrosity implies immediate action is required, or at least some sense of urgency. So, why would anyone in their right mind attach language to the bill trying to raise the minimum wage to $15 per hour? The real minimum wage will always be ZERO. I believe most Americans still believe in right versus wrong and still want good to prevail over evil. I believe they value common sense over foolishness and individual freedom over subjugation by the bureaucracy.

I’m willing to take this campaign as far as it will go, but only one step at a time. I’m certainly not ready to start accepting campaign donations, hire staff, or do more than talk at the moment. I’ve never lived in Washington, D.C. and all things being equal, I’d rather not die there. For the moment, think of me as an exploratory committee composed of one person. As for my qualifications, I’m less qualified to serve than Trump but more qualified than Joe Biden only because I’m not suffering from dementia. Literally, over 80 million Americans allegedly said “ANYBODY but Trump”, even if it’s an animated cadaver, and I’m anybody and nobody in particular, for sure.

However, if the ideas and promises I continue to post in the days ahead resonate with you personally, I would encourage you to share them with your friends on social media. I can only go as far as the American people are willing to take me. I love my country and want the best for the American people.

Unlike Donald Trump, I would not be able to work for free and donate my salary as POTUS to worthwhile charities, because I’m not rich. Of course, if I’m POTUS I’ll probably be gifted with multimillion dollar contracts to write an autobiography or three, especially if I change my last name to Clinton or Obama. I’m just an ordinary citizen. But if enough patriotic Americans feel the same way about the future of our nation as I do, the person who leads us all will be leading a movement that forces politicians to govern with common sense. That would beat the heck out of what we have now, wouldn’t it?

I’m also not suffering from delusions. While Donald Trump had no prior political experience and neither will have I, in terms of name recognition, there is no real comparison. Everybody knew who Donald Trump was before he was elected because of his real estate business and celebrity personality. Without ever watching a single episode of The Apprentice I knew who Omarosa was because of all the media coverage the show got.

Am I serious about running for president? In one sense, very. This is a win/win scenario for me, unless I get murdered or institutionalized. If people like what I’m saying they will subscribe to my website. If they subscribe to my website, in addition to new platform planks, they will receive notice when I announce a new novel is available for sale. In a perfect world, our next president will know what he’s doing and agrees with most of what I’ll be saying here, over the next several months. In the extremely unlikely event that this humble campaign of mine, raging against the machine, actually goes beyond building me a larger fan base for my writing. I personally think the odds of my winning might only be slightly better than the odds against abiogenesis, but much like abiogenesis, it would only have to happen once. I know the media won’t be carrying any water for me, so I will go as far as people want to take me, and no further.

To say I’m disenchanted with “President Biden” is an understatement, without question. The funny thing about Trump is I never liked him until he was elected and began to keep his campaign promises. I’m going a step further. I’m taking from that example and putting my promises in writing. You’ve gotten my first campaign promise. I might have to double the 25 page limit to 50 because these bloviating politicians simply can’t exercise brevity and get to the point (unless they are on Twitter, of course) but on the other hand, the Constitution itself is only like five pages long.

Perhaps we should just perform a word count and pass a new law stating no new bills may be written that are longer than the Constitution itself.

Look, I’m not enough of an egotist to believe I’d make a good politician. I would have difficult hiding my disdain for people like Mitch McConnell and Nancy Pelosi. I’m not promising I’d be a great leader, only better than what we currently have today, which is now an empty suit that was never clothing for a good or decent man. Of course, in the ideal scenario, you won’t elect me.

You’ll just elect someone who adopts most of my platform while I keep writing.

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